Bye Butt Crack

Not again! My heart sank with disappointment.

I bought a couple of branded denim pants from a resale store before summer. It’s one of those unique pants with interesting colored patches. I thought it would be cute for Austria, besides it was not that expensive. It was a size 8 and Austria is size 6 so I thought it would definitely fit on her when school starts. And so I thought!

I was excited to put it on her for her first day in 1st grade! I wanted to make it memorable. Of course she didn’t really care whether she is cute or not, it’s the least of her concern. As a girl with Autism and sensory issues, she can wear pretty much anything as long as it is soft and the tag is removed.

I could not zip the zipper because her waist got bigger. I adjusted the garter so the button may reach the button whole and it did! But then I felt so bad her tummy was so squeezed and I felt she could not really breathe. Not only that, as soon as she sat down, I could see the butt crack!

In a span of 3 months she grew taller and wider! What happened! She couldn’t have possibly grown that fast?  I wanted to keep these jeans not because they were unique, I guess I am also just in denial that she is really growing.

But my big girl has a ‘real’ problem. Sadly it is one that hundreds of thousands of women everywhere have. I just can’t find a pair of jeans that fit right. Although I’m not so sure that it is that they don’t fit right but manufacturers are not designing or making high-waist jeans for girls.


Austria has a high-waist that creates a cute butt crack. :)

I can find her pants that fit her booty, waist, and legs. It was not easy, but I have found some that fit. They look great on her for as long as she is standing up, but the minute she starts to run, play, and/or sit down they start sliding down her hips and her butt crack shows.

We have tried belts and long shirts, but nothing seems to help. There are some days when her school aide would insinuate that I should buy her a size bigger than 6. But the pants is already size 8!

It’s embarrassing and frustrating at the same because I can’t seem to do something about her pants.  Our close friends and her older brother Vincent would make fun of her because her butt is always showing. I myself find it cute but a mother’s worst fears (or one of them) are kids laughing or teasing my baby. Something HAD to be done! Ugh.!!

We’ve tried on pretty much every pair of jeans. I’ve been able to find in a store and they all have the same issue. I knew that it was time for me to come up with a solution of my own. It was time to break out the sewing machine.

I had seen these bands for adults that they could wear under their shirts to look like they had on a longer tank, but I had not seen any for kids. I knew they couldn’t be that hard to make so I decided to give it a try.

I already have a box of tri–colored cotton layer that I bought at Bed Bath and Beyond for myself but since it is my size, I just need to cut and sew it to fit her size and make “hide yo’ butt crack to finally rest!. :)

my kiddos

Austria wearing the layered band over her regular pants. With her brother Vincent.


Dear Mom on the iPhone: You’re Doing Fine


Dear Mom on the iPhone,

I see you at the park with your kids, phone in hand. Your cherubs are running around playing and calling out “Mommy, watch me!” They go down the slide squealing in delight, yelling “Mommy, watch this!” As they climb the ladder to go again, they shout “Mommy, I want you to watch me!! Mommy, watch! Mommy! Mommy!!MOMMY!!!!”

But you’re not watching… because you’re on your phone — checking Facebook, email or Pinterest.

You’re not watching… because you just spent every waking hour before arriving at the park watching everything your child did. Every. Little. Thing.

You watched as he ate his breakfast and “drove” his waffles around his plate. You watched as he held the fork upside down and stabbed at bites with the handle and said “Mommy, now watch me do this!” And then he picked up his napkin and put it on his head. And you were watching.

You also watched as your daughter picked out her clothes — only the shirt with the monkey on it would do today. Then you watched as she got dressed. You watched while she struggled to put on her socks — determined to do it herself. You watched — sometimes helping and guiding, but knowing that letting her figure it out is an important part of learning and growing.

You watched when she twirled around her bedroom. You watched as she played with her stuffed animals. You watched as she put away her toys. Slowly. Stopping to play with most of them on the way to the toy box. You were watching it all.

You watched as your kids brushed their teeth and hair. You watched as they played blocks and Play-Doh and had a dance party. You joined in because you love being a part of their fun. You watched while they pooped and helped wipe their bottoms. You watched them wash their hands with too much soap — or maybe not enough. You watched as they splattered water all over the sink. You watched them jump off the stool and run around the house with wet hands.

You’ve been watching your kids — playing with them, helping them, singing and dancing with them all morning. All day. And now, at the park, when they can run around and play, you’re taking a few minutes for yourself on your phone.

Maybe you work from home and you’re still actually working, checking email, responding to clients, sending a proposal. Your lucky kids have the benefit of spending some of that time playing outside, making new friends, running off steam, enjoying the sunshine. Kudos to you for giving your kids such a fun way to spend part of their day while you take care of business.

Maybe you have a friend or family member who’s been ill and you’re taking some time while the kids are happily occupied to send some texts to check in on them, arranging the timing to know when you should drop off dinner at their house. Or you might be looking for the email follow-up for your own test results you’ve been waiting on. Maybe you’re writing or reading kind messages on Facebook, offering condolences for the loss of a loved one. All while your kids are outside, enjoying some free time to play.

Maybe you’re on Pinterest looking for ideas to help your kids adjust to their dad’s latest deployment — finding tools to help them stay connected or searching for party ideas to welcome him home.

Maybe you have an older child in school and his teacher emailed you about a concern with behavior that you need to address… and now that you have a few minutes with your younger kids happily playing at the park, you return a message.

Or maybe you realize that watching your kid every second of every day isn’t necessary and that it’s totally acceptable and actually good for everyone involved — for you to have a few minutes to yourself. At the park. On your phone.

So, to you, dear Mom on the iPhone, I say this:

I’m not going to judge you. I don’t know you. I don’t know your story. But I do know that you don’t need to watch every hop, skip, jump, twirl, swing, bite, song, dance, blink or breath to be a good mom. There’s a lot that demands our attention in this parenting life — and a lot that we want to soak in and enjoy. There’s also a lot that happens in our lives outside of parenting that we cannot neglect.

While parenting might be our most important and rewarding job, it’s not the only one. We’re all working on balance and finding that area where we can be satisfied that we’re making enough time for it all. For the record, we’re all failing at that. Every single one of us wishes we were better at juggling our responsibilities… and many of us spend time beating ourselves up for how we’re doing. You’re doing fine.

 As long as you’re doing your best to make it all work for your family, you’re doing just fine, and that’s what matters.

It’s actually good for your kids to know they’re not the center of your attention every second of every day. It’s good for them to learn to play independently and do things on their own without accolades for Every. Little. Thing. That’s good parenting — allowing them to learn that some things are satisfying just for the fun and enjoyment of doing them, not for the praise or attention that comes with them.

So, find your balance. Be a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, mentor, employee — wear all the hats you need to wear. Do what needs to be done… which sometimes includes taking a little time for yourself — even if it’s just checking Facebook while your kid runs around playing at the park.


This Mom with an iPhone who isn’t judging you for yours

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